Friday, March 30, 2007
been extremely down these few days.... it's hard to explain where feelings are concern.... hubby had to look out for my strezz tablet which have only 2 left..... i do not know where the fault lies... was it for the wrong decision to resign from my work and caused a zero stable income for almost 3mths which leads to outstanding bills piling, inturn, cause ppl close to me affected by it too.....but all these are changes and challenges in life where we had to be strong and overcome it slowly..... i do not blame Mum who was worried over all these..... its easier when u are not staying with parents cos' they wouldnt noe the financial constraints u are having.... BUT ME.... i had to face with financial as well as mental probs of others being the upmost priority... its not easy.. . and i have been enduring it until it finally breakdown.... BUT does anyone concern about how I feel? Fingers are pointing at me without first understanding the root... i do not mean to be rude... but i simply cant hold it anymore....(ppl will accuse u wen u are harsh to ur elder and they wouldnt care even if you are trying to prove your rights).....been doing all kinds of planning and budgetting with the future income.... need to return the loans from Mum asap... so that i will not have the feeling of guilt.... i am considering of having a helper prob towards end of the year, if the planning goes well, so that i could remove some load off Mum's shoulder... i understand she is very tired lately after bibik left... but its her decision for not having one, apart from trying to release some financial load off my back during the "retiring" period.... i really wish at this point of time, loans lend to frens be cleared soon... so that i would be able to clear my part too....EXAMS.... another headache... i have not even start revising.... how can i when my mind is already fully occupied with probs.... chest hurt, headaches... arrrggghhh...
princezzD remembered on 4:40 PM.
